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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27294559">Clear, Beautiful Skies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneSerendipity/pseuds/SereneSerendipity'>SereneSerendipity</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Happy Ending, Love Letters, SuperCorp, Taylor swift's Seven meets It's Nice to Have a Friend meets the Lakes??? Maybe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:26:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27294559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneSerendipity/pseuds/SereneSerendipity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Lena,</p><p>I hope you find only clear beautiful skies where you are.</p><p>Love, </p><p>Kara</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Danvers &amp; Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers &amp; Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Clear, Beautiful Skies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>“I've got nothing to say to you, but it's you who I want to say nothing to"<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Roland Barthes</em>
</p><hr/><p>Lena is eight and the air is so cold. She is eight and she feels like she can’t breathe through the strength of her sobs. Her chest is tight, tight, tight, but she can’t seem to draw in any air to expand it. Her sobs kept coming, but her tears had stopped an eternity ago. She balls her fists into her chest and tries to contain all of the violent emotion that wouldn’t stop flowing out of her. Her body trembles from a cocktail of the cold, her fear, and her sobs.  </p><p>The air around her still rang with Lillian and Lionel’s shouts. Every crack of the branches had her scrambling desperately backward against the rocky hollow she had tucked herself in when she got too tired from her directionless running. All she could see was the shattering vase and Lillian’s red-eyed fury.</p><p>Another branch cracked and Lena pressed her fists against her mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that wouldn’t stop. Another branch, this time closer. Lena hunched into herself, prepared for a Luthor to haul her out and punish her for breaking the vase, for running, for being afraid, for existing. Something. Anything. Lena had lost track of all the things she seemed to do wrong a long time ago. </p><p>She squeezed her eyes tight. </p><p>Another branch.</p><p>“Hello?” A inquisitive, soft voice called out. </p><p>Lena doesn’t move for a second, still too afraid. Then, silence.</p><p>“Hello? Who are you?” The voice returned. Lena softened, it hadn’t moved any closer.</p><p>She slowly opened her eyes and she saw a <em> princess </em>.</p><p>----------------</p><p>Lena is eight and stumbling after her new <em> friend </em> through summer-burnt bushes. The white dress that the Luthor’s maid had put her in was wrecked, torn and full of the twigs that had done the tearing. </p><p>And for once, Lena does not care because the sunlight is so golden, reflecting off the strands of her friend’s hair and Kara’s hand is so warm in hers. There would be hell to face at home, but for the moment, Lena is submersed in the gold of dried grass, sunlight, and Kara. </p><p>“Come on!” </p><p>Lena had snuck out of the manor for the first time not because she was hopelessly afraid and desperately trying to escape. She crept out because she had seen a golden glint from her window and the princess from only days ago waving in broad daylight. She didn’t know much, but she knew the Luthors would be furious if they saw Kara. And something in Lena said she only wanted Kara to exist to her.</p><p>Kara was a whirlwind of excitement and happiness when Lena crept out, never asking for a moment why her friend rushed them away from the foreboding dark manor. She was insistent that they head toward her house and that she had something to share with Lena.</p><p>Lena didn’t know much about distance, but it felt like they had walked forever over golden grass fields along the coast until they reached a white wooden house. Kara let out a jubilant cheer and Lena could only let herself be dragged forward as Kara led them down the stairs next to the house to the beach beneath. </p><p>“This is the Getaway!” Kara announced, grandly gesturing toward the rocky hollow that Lena recognized as the place where she tucked herself in only days ago. Had she somehow ran toward Kara’s house without knowing?</p><p>She was silent. The hollow had been completely changed. White cloth fluttered out from the makeshift “door” that someone had helped Kara put up. A blanket was spread on the ground and a colorful assortment of pillows littered the area. </p><p>“You said you wanted to get away, so I thought you should have a comfy place to get away! Eliza and Alex thought it was a good idea so they helped me. And! It’s close to my house so we can always get hot cocoa from my mom when you want to!” Kara cheerfully shucked off her flip flops and rummaged around the many pillows to return to Lena’s side with a little remote. “This was Jeremiah’s idea.” She clicked and the hollow filled with lit fairy lights and Lena could not look away.</p><p>Kara took Lena’s hand and pressed the remote into it. Lena couldn’t move, couldn’t say anything. All she could do was look at the warmest, softest looking place she had ever seen before.</p><p>“It’s yours, but I want to be allowed in, okay?” Kara is at her ear with cotton-candy breath. That breaks Lena out of her trance and she turns to bury her friend in a hug. Kara is equal parts confused and distressed as Lena bursts into tears while nodding into her shoulder.</p><p>How could Lena ever say no to Kara?</p><p>---------------</p><p>
  <em> Dear Lena, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The storm passed through last night. Eliza says that the Getaway might have been washed away. I don’t know. I haven’t been back there. It’s not the same without you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I hope you are comfy wherever you are. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kara</em>
</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is twenty four and brand new in the big city of National City. The bell of a cafe jingles as she steps in, clutching the backpack and duffel that held all of her possessions. She is twenty four years old with a sparkling new doctoral degree and she had finally said goodbye to the family that adopted her, raised her, and abused her. </p><p>The smell of coffee envelops her like a warm hug. Like a handhold through golden dried grass and stumbling through brambles. Lena takes a deep breath in, trying to commit it to memory. Her first coffee as Lena <em> Kieran </em>.</p><p>She steps up to the counter, relishing in the freedom of choosing whatever she wants, and simultaneously winces and rejoices at paying for the overly elaborate latte with the savings that she had squirreled away through a decade of tutoring and side hustles. She didn’t want anything that the Luthors had ever touched. </p><p>It wasn’t much, but it was enough for her to leave. </p><p>It was enough to build a new life.</p><p>---------------</p><p>
  <em> Dear Lena, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Why don’t you ever write back? Alex says that you don’t want to be friends anymore, but Eliza said that she’s just upset that I won’t let her use the Getaway even though you’re gone. I know she helped build it, but that place is for just you and me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I haven’t gone back. It’s for you and me. Not just for me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Please write back? I miss you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kara </em>
</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is nine and she feels like she can’t breathe. She is on the ground, clutching her stomach as another round of breathless giggle tears through her. Her friend is no better. They are a pile of incapacitated children on the ground. Black hair is hopelessly tangled into golden. </p><p>Alex, who has reluctantly taken on the role of older sister to two instead of one, huffs with her arms crossed above them. “It isn’t that funny!”</p><p>Green meets blue eyes and the duo of little sisters on the ground is sent into another fit of laughter. Truthfully, Lena had already forgotten what they were laughing at, but each giggle from her golden haired friend sends an answering one tearing through her. She has no strength to lift herself from the ground, even though Kara’s elbow was logged into her ribs, but she felt no urge to leave the pile.</p><p>Alex groans and melts dramatically on top of them. The pile becomes two seven year olds and an eleven year old giggling for no rhyme or reason. </p><p>Just laughing to laugh.</p><p>Lena hopes it’ll never end.</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dear Lena, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Where did you go? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Eliza says the manor is all empty now. She managed to stop Lillian before the last moving truck left and got this address from her. Lilian wasn’t happy to see her, but at least she gave me some way to contact you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Why didn’t you let me know? Why didn’t you say goodbye?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Please write me back, Lena. I miss you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kara </em>
</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is twenty five and the apartment feels so cold. The light above her flickers and she groans as she wacks at the spot on the wall that somehow always fixes the flickering. She knows it’ll probably just loosen the circuitry more, but that’s a problem for another day. </p><p>Piles of papers sit in front of her, around her, and below the table that she’s been camped at all day. She allows herself to slump for just a moment before pulling herself back up to the Luthor-perfect posture she had been raised with. The work was hard, but her grant proposal was almost ready for the DNA-like electronic storage device she had dreamed up while completing her PhD in genetics and genomics. </p><p>It would revolutionize data storage using the most robust and flexible storage system that nature had already perfected. It would, but right now it was a bunch of proposals and hypotheses built from thousands of hours of research.</p><p>It would be Lena’s defining break from the dark dealings of Luthor Corp. Technology not meant for war, but for recording memory.</p><p>Lena reaches for a ziplock bag underneath all the research articles. In it is a worn, yellowed letter. She gently caresses the paper from outside the bag, resisting the urge to trace the letters again. She knew that the number of times she could before the letter was too worn were limited, so she saved that direct contact only for her most desperate moments. </p><p>She lets herself softly touch the “<em> Love, Kara” </em> once more, takes a deep breath, and sets back to work.</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dear Lena,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Alex left for college. I keep expecting to hear her quip back at me or see her when I turn around. It’s...hard being left twice over. Things are so different nowadays. It’s just Eliza and I now, and it’s hard not to think about you or Jeremiah. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Not that I think you’re dead, though! I mean...you never reply to my letters and I don’t even know if you ever receive these just like if I was talking to the dead, but I know you’re out there! And I hope you are having the best days of your life out there. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s just hard being here when you’re not, you know? I miss you. I miss Alex. I miss Jeremiah. All I seem to do is miss people these days. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I hope you have warm blankets and pumpkin spice cocoa wherever you are! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kara </em>
</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is twelve and the stars are shining so brightly. The air is chilly. She had forgotten a jacket when she absconded from Luthor manor as soon as the chauffeur dropped her off, but Kara leant her a big oversized burnt orange crewneck proudly proclaiming “<em> Midvale Youth Softball” </em>.  She snuggled into its warmth, fondly remembering how both Danvers girls had dragged her to their most recent game. </p><p>The empty seat in the front felt emptier than Lena thought it would, without Jeremiah’s twinkling hazel eyes, but Eliza was just as loving and warm as she always was. And Lena loved the camaraderie she felt with the older woman when the Danvers sisters tackled them after their win, covered in dirt. The space where Jeremiah usually occupied haunted her, but the Danvers seemed to only let it encourage their celebrations, as if in doing so they could bring their joy to him.</p><p>She hoped he felt it, wherever he was now.</p><p>“Here!” Kara suddenly appeared in her vision, fluffy pink beanie and excited blue eyes. She grabbed Lena’s hands and pressed a camper mug full of steaming hot chocolate into her hands. “Alex tried to steal this one!” </p><p>“Why does Lena always get one first?” Alex whined, despite being fourteen and usually too old and cool for such antics now. She ambled out onto the porch with her own cup of steaming hot cocoa and joined them at the blanket and pillow pile. </p><p>Lena saw Kara visibly brighten more, rivaling the stars above them, as Alex sighed and snuggled in next to her. Alex joined them less and less these days, but the best nights were when she made time out of her busy teenager life to join them for their old tradition of making up stories to the stars. </p><p>Lena remembers how she offered to bring a book on constellations the first time she was invited to this tradition and how both girls insisted that would take the fun out of things. So she learned, she learned how to sink into the warmth of her best friend and slowly sip sweet, creamy hot cocoa. She learned how to look up to the sky and imagine characters from the stars. She learned how to be completely at ease as her friends bickered about which myth they were telling was more likely and why couldn’t that cluster be a donut that Alex’s constellation lost?</p><p>Lena learned to love traditions in a way that she doubted any Luthor ever did.</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dear Lena, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s finally my turn to leave. I decided not to stay at Midvale community college. Eliza says that there’s too much world out there for me to stay in Midvale forever. I just...she’ll be left four times over if I leave, you know? You, Jeremiah, Alex, and now me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I don’t know why I keep writing. You can’t possibly have received any of these letters.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I guess it’s just nice for me to think that you’re out there somewhere and that I haven’t lost you yet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I miss you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kara </em>
</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is thirteen and tears are streaming down her face as she presses her face against the cold glass of the car window. Midvale gets endlessly tinier in the distance as she is taken away from the only people that ever brought her comfort. </p><p>With Lionel’s passing, Lillian decided that there was no reason to see the physical reminder of his indiscretions anymore and had Lena taken away with no warning. She was to go to boarding school on the east coast. An entire continent was to be between her and Kara. </p><p>Lena’s body shook with her silent tears. She always knew that it was only a matter of time before the Luthors caught wind of the Danvers and sought some way to remove them from her.  Still, despite all the Luthors taught her about not holding onto anything too dearly, she felt like her world was ending.</p><p>And she wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye.</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is twenty five and it's her first time going to the post office. She tried to swallow the feelings of self-judgement on how she had gone twenty five years without ever getting her own post account set up and stepped up to the counter.</p><p>“Lena Kieran Luthor?” The woman at the desk seemed shocked. Lena steeled herself for someone that knew her family. “I never thought we would see you! You have so much mail in the mail recovery center! I saw about one every week when I worked there.”</p><p>Lena blinked. All of her genius momentarily suspended.</p><p>The woman beckoned her closer. “We aren’t supposed to keep letters with less than 25 dollars value or for this long, but when they first came in, I just couldn’t bear to see a little girl’s pen pal letter. And then they just kept coming in over the years and it became a little mystery for all of the recovery crew. So we kept them safe hoping this Lena would come get them some day!” </p><p>Lena flashed through all the possibilities. All her mail went to the Luthors. There was no reason for so many letters to continue being sent unless…</p><p><em> No </em>. It couldn’t be. </p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p><em> Dear Lena,<br/></em> <em><br/></em> <em> I hope you find only clear beautiful skies where you are. </em></p><p>
  <em> Love,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kara </em>
</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is twenty five and standing in her first apartment, staring at the letter in her hand. Lena traced the letters gently, fingers running over paper. It probably should have been kept in its protective case, but she couldn’t bear to seal it away. </p><p>The envelope was postmarked seven years ago and, without the casing, the water in the air and oils in her hands had turned the paper yellow. Still, Lena couldn’t bear to not touch the last letter that Kara had sent her, to run her hands over the creases where Kara’s hands must have held the paper. </p><p><em> “Clear beautiful skies </em>”, Lena mused as she turned her head to the tall windows of her studio, the first place she found a home, and let the sun spill onto her face. She hoped Kara also found clear, beautiful skies.</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is thirty and it was supposed to be another mundane week in the city, just like the thousand others. She strolled to her favorite coffee shop on her way to the office. Despite the fact her assistant and a few other employees (just off the top of her head) would be happy to fetch her drink for her, Lena preferred to do this little routine by herself. </p><p>This cafe was the first place she stopped at when she arrived in National City and it was the place where she and Jack had signed the deal that created what would become Kieran Medical Inc. In just half a decade, Lena had turned what was supposed to be a single device inspired by nature into an entire medicine and healthcare conglomerate. If nothing else, the Luthors had taught her how to run a business.</p><p>It was supposed to be a mundane week. An ordinary visit to a familiar cafe.</p><p>Except today, Lena stopped in her tracks. </p><p>All of the things she loved about the cafe ceased to exist for a millisecond as Lena registered hair like the Californian sun and the most singularly blue pair of eyes she had only seen one other time in her life.</p><p>Gone was the worn, creaking wood furniture and the swinging pots of English ivy. All Lena could see was that pair of blue eyes and golden hair and golden fields and white sheets billowing in the wind. </p><p>And the sound of laughter drifting through salty sea wind. And sweat dripping down Lena’s face as she laughed breathlessly, trying to keep up with the flickering golden-haired girl in front of her. Tripping over dried grass and twigs. Pumpkin spice hot cocoa under a starlit sky. </p><p>“Lena?”</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is thirty and the sky was endless blue. Kara’s eyes twinkled with possibilities that Lena couldn’t dare to look too closely at. </p><p>“You know” She began and Lena barely registered her words, too lost in all the blue that she never thought she would see again. “All I wanted to do was take you home with me.”</p><p>“Oh?” was all Lena managed</p><p>“When we were little. I had this whole plan. You would share my room with me and we could always play pirates on the deck” Kara burrowed her chin into her arms, hugging her knees tight, “and you would never have to cry again.”</p><p><br/>Lena felt a twang in her heart. She remembered running down the back way to Kara’s house, tripping on pebbles and twigs with tears running down her face, leaving behind the warzone at her house. “That would’ve been…” she trailed off. Perfect, unimaginably wonderful, she wanted to say. But unreasonable. Illogical. She wouldn’t have been able to stay. The Luthors would’ve dragged her back and taken down the Danvers while they were at it.</p><p>Kara gave a rueful smile, “Things sure seemed easier when we were seven, didn’t they?”</p><p>Lena couldn’t agree more. </p><p>When Lena closed her eyes again, she saw the tall grass burned gold in the summer sun and the dragonflies dancing on its surface. She saw their hollow in the rocks made of old sheets and worn blankets and fairy lights that Alex and Eliza helped Kara set up. </p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is thirty and she is under a pillow fort made of luxury Egyptian cotton sheets and monotone Crate and Barrel pillows. She feels like she can’t breathe. She is on the ground, clutching her stomach as another round of breathless giggle tears through her. Her friend is no better. They are a pile of incapacitated children on the ground. Black hair is hopelessly tangled into golden. </p><p>Kara flops next to her as she attempts to sit up and fails as another round of giggles wrack her body. Lena tries not to think about how strong and warm her best friend feels pressed next to her. She instead focuses on how the gold in Kara’s hair seems to glow in the fairy lights that the blonde had insisted they needed for their first sleepover in almost two decades.</p><p>Despite Lena’s doctoral degree and Kara’s brilliantly sharp journalist mind, they had both already forgotten what they were laughing about.</p><p>They were just laughing to laugh.</p><p>Lena hopes that it’ll never end.</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is thirty one and sitting across from her best friend at the fanciest sushi restaurant in town. Kara had just gotten her first serious article published and Lena insisted that they have a proper celebration. Her eyes can’t help but trace the defined biceps and strong shoulders of the blonde across from her as Kara wildly gestures, recounting a funny story about work.</p><p>Lena is thirty one, but feels a millennium older as she takes a long gulp of her wine, and comes to a realization. </p><p>Sometimes Love shows up exactly when Love is needed. Sometimes Love is a buck toothed grin and sunshine hair and trampling through sun-burnt golden grasses. Sometimes Love didn’t come at the right time or place. Sometimes Love had to be left.</p><p>And Love had to grow older, gain new crinkles around her blue, blue eyes. </p><p>But she never looked more beautiful. </p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is thirty one and realizes that she was deeply and utterly in love with Kara, <em> still. </em></p><p>Lena is thirty four and the air is so cold. She snuggles deeper into the very worn burnt orange “<em> Midvale Youth Softball” </em> shirt and takes a deep breath in. Kara immediately zones in on her shiver and urgently tucks another blanket around Lena’s shoulders despite her protests. </p><p>The night breeze brings another waft of the pumpkin spice and hot chocolate. Lena closes her eyes, utterly content lounging in the pillow pile that Kara built on her patio. She hears Kara’s clothes rustle as she moves around on the thick blanket. </p><p>“Lena.”</p><p>Kara’s serious tone makes Lena open her eyes and she gasps.</p><p>Kara is on one knee with a glittering ring in her hand that seemed to rival the stars above them. “Lena, I can’t risk ever losing you again. Will you marry me?”</p><p>How could Lena ever say no to Kara?</p><p>
  <em>--------------</em>
</p><p>Lena is thirty five and she cannot stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. Kara looks like a fallen angel in her white suit, her golden hair ablaze in the California sun. </p><p>The sea crashes against the shore, kissing it despite being sent away every time. </p><p>Eliza is in the front row, her hair and face just as radiant and loving as Lena always remembered. Alex smirks at her from beside Kara, fully embodying her big sister of <em> two </em> role. </p><p>Lena is thirty five as she arrives at the altar and faces Kara, getting lost in the endless blue eyes that never failed to remind her of clear, beautiful skies. Lena is thirty five and it has been almost three decades since Kara found her, lost and afraid, in a rocky hollow. </p><p>She is thirty five and it has been over two decades of cold lonely nights and finding her way through all the darkness alone, and she sheds the Luthor name once more.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> End. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is an utter mess of a fic post, but I wanted to share it anyways. Thank you to @littlemousejelly and @BiFelicia and all my non-AO3 friends for their encouragement/advice/patiently listening me to ramble about this at various points. </p><p>The phrase "clear beautiful skies" kept echoing my mind while I bunkered in, suffering my grad school classes, during the month of NorCal fires where the skies were perpetually orange and the smoke was always so bad. I thought hey isn't that such a nice thing to wish someone. </p><p>And then I thought about what it must have been like to grow up in a household like Lena's and how she must've ached for clear, beautiful skies and peaceful mornings and still nights. This piece didn't really do that justice, but it was something that I had to write (in a nonstop writing sess just prior to my exam week), so here it is...</p></blockquote></div></div>
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